Meh!

Are you liking the titles of these recent blog posts because I am. Let's be honest, I've not been in the mood to really think of blog entry titles. Atleast I'm not using ones that I've used before. Creative enough for me.

There's really not a whole lot to blog about here. The weather's good for January, I still don't have a job, and I'm still missing my Oregon family like crazy. Boring right? Well such is my life right now. People have been suggesting that I should travel out of town to visit them while I have some free time. Great thought, just not going to happen quite yet. I wish.

In the mean time, I've been applying for lots of jobs, drinking lots of coffee and tea, writing lots of letters, and doing lots of reading. I just finished reading The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Through out the book, Bonhoeffer looks at the Sermon on the Mount and explains what it looks like to follow Christ. Definitely worth the read if you're looking for something a little deeper.

Well, friends, for those of you in Florida, I hope you've enjoyed your warm weather and the fun surprises that the ASC brings. For the rest of you, I hope you're able to enjoy your last Saturday in January. How did that happen already?

Sigh

I sigh. Often. And more often than not, I say sigh instead of simply sighing. It's just something I do.

Well, I think it's crazy. I left the Ranch one month ago today. Sometimes it feels like it's been only a few days and sometimes it feels like it has been years since I've been there. The hardest part has really been not being in the community and the relationships that I left there. Well not entirely left there, not in spirit.

When I left the Canyon so many heavy emotion events had been happening pretty much right up until I left. I didn’t have the chance to fully process anything before the next thing occured.

When I first got home, it was like I hit the ground running. It was a whirlwind of last minute Christmas shopping, time with family, Christmas, and unpacking still not fully processing the recent events.

It wasn’t until after the family left and after New Years came and went that I really let myself process the last month or two of my time in Antelope. And it wasn’t until after I was able to process some of the recent things that I was able to move forward and start looking to what’s next. I’ve been able to look forward and see what that might possibly look like.

And now I've been able to do so, I'm beginning to grow a little frustrated with the "obtain a job" process. It has been a long, slow process with little to show for the time I've poured into it. My goal, above all else, is to cling to two of the Lord's promises:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with

thanksgiving, submit your request to God and the peace of God, which transcends all

understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus."

- Philippians 4:6-7

and...

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and

not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future"

- Jeremiah 29:11

Until recently I was doing a pretty good job of not being anxious or frustrated with the job search, but I'm getting there, that's for sure. I think the hardest thing is the not knowing. It always is. If I knew what the job was or how long I'd be waiting, I'd be fine. Well, let's be honest, that's a lie. Because after the not knowing piece, being patient is a very close second to the hardest thing about such a process. After I found I was moving to Oregon, almost immediately I was saying, “I can’t wait! September 29th can’t come soon enough!” But I think that knowing makes things easier. Right now, I simply want to know what’s next. Then I can rest with a little more peace.

I’m excited to see what the Lord has in store for me this year and what adventures I’m going to take. Hurry up and wait, right?

And Another Thing...Friends. Part 2.

I came outside to read on my back porch in my jeans, short-sleeved tshirt, and barefeet, but I think, instead, it's time for my first blog of 2012.

You might remember my original "And Another Thing...Friends" post about my friend Sam. If not, read here and it'll give you some perspective on what I mean by "And Another Thing...Friends".

Well, the end of 2011 and beginning of 2012 has been a rough/sad chunk of time as you can tell in the previous posts. 2012 hasn't had anything super hard or anything, but mostly sad. I've been really missing Oregon and the nearness of certain dear relationships - both in time zone and physical nearness. People who I love dearly and love living life with.

I love to laugh a lot. I love to laugh often. There aren't too many people who can get me truly, deep-belly laughin'. Like truly. And honestly I can't remember when the last time was that I truly laughed so hard that my stomach hurt...until today.

There really isn't anybody who can get me truly, deep-belly laughin' like Kory and Sara can. When I'm with them, I laugh and laugh often. I could be legitimately crying then one of them way say something and I can't help but laugh. As I was talking with my dear brother today I had tears rollin' down my face and my stomach was hurting so bad because I was laughing like crazy! It felt so good! It has been so long since I have laughed that hard. It was just what I needed. It has brought me out of this funk that I've been in. We could be laughing for what seems like forever at what seems like so little. I love it.

Kory and Sara - a couple of more "And another thing...friends" - some of the most important. Friend/family that have laughed and cried with me.

And one more of these dear friends is my sweet friend Lindsay. I talked to my dear friend Lindsay on the phone yesterday for about 10 minutes and it was so wonderful although short with her promising to call me next week when company leaves. Lindsay has been a dear, sweet, friend in my life.

Although my family and her in-laws have been friends for decades, Lindsay and I didn't meet until the summer of 2007 when her husband, Nate, was on Assignment doing Program at SharpTop while I was on Property Staff there. While I had seen Nate a couple times since that month, the Lord didn't have Lindsay's and my paths cross again until we both moved to Oregon. Nate and Lindsay (who were pregnant with their second child) moved to the Canyon about six/seven weeks after I did. Oh it was glorious. You see, I had no clue that Nate and Lindsay were moving to the Ranch until they showed up to State of the Property that night. I was so excited to see them there and have them apart of the Canyon Family.

Lindsay has been a great friend who has asked good, real, deep questions and walked with me during some really hard and confusing times. Love her and her sweet family.

These dear people are some of the biggest reasons why it was so hard to leave the Canyon and the reasons why I miss it the most. Can't wait to come home and visit with them in person. Love you guys.