Leaving the Canyon

My heart is heavy right now. Life in the Canyon has been hard these last couple of weeks. Much life has been lived and processed since the beginning of December.

Leaving the Canyon is harder than I imagined it would be. I'm not sure if it has to do with all of the hard events recently - particularly Doug and Kory or just life stuff. Today is my 27th birthday and it doesn't feel all that special birthday-like that it normally does. Not that people haven't been loving on me - they totally have been and I feel SO loved by my dear Canyon Family. I think I'm just sad that recent events have happened. I'm sad that Dana lost her husband. I'm sad that Dain, Peter, Caleb, and Jack lost their dad. I'm sad that Kory's in pain.

Everything in me wants to restart this month with different outcomes. If I could be in control, Doug would still be here and Kory wouldn't have fallen.

But I guess that's why the Lord is in control. I was talking with my dear friend Lindsay the other night and she said something that was a great reminder to me. She said that we may not see it now, but hindsight is 20 20. We may not understand what the Lord is trying to teach us in this moment, but we will. We have to trust this because the Lord always delivers. He is always faithful.

I love the Canyon and it's family more than I thought possible. I have two days left here and I want to soak it up as much as possible. My heart is still heavy, but I am thankful.