Moving forward

I am intentional about creating two different posts back to back today. One was somewhat of reflecting and this one is more of looking forward.

Don't get me wrong, I loved the Canyon. Still do. Always will. This last month or so has been very hard emotionally. My birthday, moving, and Christmas has come and gone in a flash yet it has dragged on forever. I'm learning to really appreciate the things around me and especially the people. Most importantly, the Lord. This month has been huge in my life and I will probably be processing it for a long time.

But I'm ready. I'm ready to move forward and move on. I can't wait to take down the Christmas decorations and get on with life. I'm ready live life again versus live in a fog.

So here we go 2012. I'm looking forward to being good friends and growing more. Get ready.

The Last of the Canyon. Sad.

It's no secret that I grew to love the Canyon more than I thought. It's also no secret that it was harder leaving the Canyon than I thought. I learned a ton about the Lord and a ton more about myself while I lived in the Canyon which I am still trying to process, but the Lord is good.

I think, well I know, it's the people that I miss the most. It's the people that I've learned the most from. I love the Canyon for it's community. The family.

I had some pictures on my computer that I wanted to upload because I think that pictures help tell the story. It adds life and detail.

It's no secret that I love my brother Kory's ginormous, brown, awesome Yellowstone Coffee mug. You know the opening scene in So I Married An Axe Murder where Mike Myers character is sitting in a coffee shop and the waitress brings him a drink in that HUGE mug and he says "I believe I ordered the large cappuccino! Hello?!" Well, it's like that. It's huge and it's awesome. I kept threatening that I was going to steal it and I finally did. Sara had the great idea that there should be pictures involved. So for the next 24 hours or so, I took the mug around camp taking pictures of the mug anywhere and everywhere. It was so much fun....maybe a little too fun. I don't know.

Here are just two of the pictures that I took with the amazing mug:

This is in the Canyon Dinning Hall, the Iron Kettle. This is one of my favorite shots.

Kory use to drive this truck, The Hulk, for work. So of course I had to re-unite the mug and The Hulk. They obviously miss each other a whole heck of a lot.

So fun! You know I am still amazed at how well Kory and Sara love and serve others. The day Kory was released from the hospital, we had plans for a joint birthday party for me and their daughter, Bailey. I kept asking Sara if she wanted to cancel or postpone the party and she kept saying no. She still wanted to have it. And it was great. Felt so loved. One of the best parts was having Kory there. I'm not kidding. If I had gotten nothing else that would have been fine, I was just so excited to have my brother home from the hospital. Here are some pictures from that night.

Me and Bailes, the birthday girls!

Loved having my busted brother there. Such a gift and a blessing.

Sweet Kathi. Love her.

It was a great evening. At my goodbye party a few days before that, I was sent off in prayer. Dear neighbors and friends, Tim and Leah were there. Tim has a Rockbridge mug that I love. I had a Rockbridge mug as well that somehow got lost while I lived in the Canyon. I LOVE that mug. Tim had one almost identical to the one I had except mine was pink and his was yellow. Well, as a parting gift, Tim gave me his mug! Love it! Such a great gift. I am so thankful and blessed. Such a simple act means so much. And here's the mug.

This last picture is from my final drive into camp before the move. Sad moment. Hard moment. I sometimes have a hard time with change and while driving into camp that Sunday afternoon, I knew things were about to change and I was leaving some of the best friends and things I've ever had in my life, knowing that it was a good thing. It was hard to think that I would have to wait months before I could hug these sweet friends and family again.

The Canyon has been an amazing. The Canyon - it has a way of changing you. And for me, it was good.

Leaving the Canyon

My heart is heavy right now. Life in the Canyon has been hard these last couple of weeks. Much life has been lived and processed since the beginning of December.

Leaving the Canyon is harder than I imagined it would be. I'm not sure if it has to do with all of the hard events recently - particularly Doug and Kory or just life stuff. Today is my 27th birthday and it doesn't feel all that special birthday-like that it normally does. Not that people haven't been loving on me - they totally have been and I feel SO loved by my dear Canyon Family. I think I'm just sad that recent events have happened. I'm sad that Dana lost her husband. I'm sad that Dain, Peter, Caleb, and Jack lost their dad. I'm sad that Kory's in pain.

Everything in me wants to restart this month with different outcomes. If I could be in control, Doug would still be here and Kory wouldn't have fallen.

But I guess that's why the Lord is in control. I was talking with my dear friend Lindsay the other night and she said something that was a great reminder to me. She said that we may not see it now, but hindsight is 20 20. We may not understand what the Lord is trying to teach us in this moment, but we will. We have to trust this because the Lord always delivers. He is always faithful.

I love the Canyon and it's family more than I thought possible. I have two days left here and I want to soak it up as much as possible. My heart is still heavy, but I am thankful.

Moving!

Well, my friends, it's official. I'm moving back east! Monday evening at about 9 pm, I'll be on a plane back to Virginia Beach!

I have such mixed emotions about leaving the Canyon. I am super super excited to be back in Virginia and closer to the family, but super sad to be leaving my sweet, sweet Canyon Family.

So far, December has been a hard month for our Canyon Family. W e lost a dear husband, dad, brother, and friend just over a week and half ago with the passing of Doug Kuhn. Doug was so instrumental in the building of both Canyon and Creekside as well as playing a huge role in helping build community amongst the Property Staff of WFR. Our Canyon Family would not be the same without Doug and for him, I am incredibly grateful. So glad I could still be physically on the Ranch for this time and be with the rest of the Property Staff to celebrate Doug. This is one HUGE reason why I love the Canyon - the people!

So here I am in the midst of final week here and the "this is the last time I'll be doing...this" mode all while trying to pack up and soak up life here. Yet looking forward to life back east. Such a mix of emotions. I love so much about this place and these people and I'll be sad to say goodbye starting tonight at my goodbye party. I can't wait to see my nephews. Sigh.

Chukar/Elk Bucket List?

Tonight (well really last night since it's after midnight) I, again, attempted to soak up as much of the rural life of Antelope as I could. The night held two more firsts for me - things that I can now cross off my Bucket List, which I didn't even know were on my Bucket List until I was in the middle of it.

The first one, which in my opinion is not as cool, is I cooked and ate Chukar for the first time! For those of you who don't know what Chukar is (I didn't until I moved out here), it's a type of bird - it's in the partridge family (it's okay to laugh at that!) My dear friend and brother, Kory, killed a Chukar, cleaned it all up and gave me some for my roommate and me to eat. So today, I made some chili with the Chukar and LOVED it. Thanks again, K!

The second thing, which I find WAY cooler (partially because I still haven't fully warmed up yet) is I helped butcher an elk! I was totally grossed out at first, but ended up LOVING it! Thankful for the guys allowing me to be there and to hang out and especially thankful that Jesse Washkau let me take a knife to his elk and the rest of the dudes for showing me how.

Below are some pictures. I tried to pick some that were the least gross, but there's only so much you can do.

Kory and Jesse working on Jesse's elk - look at that intensity!

Kory startin' to dance - let the good times roll!

The dudes - Kory, Jimmy, Jeff, and Jesse - takin' a look at Jesse's elk

I, of course, had to get my hands in there. I had just cut off a huge chunk of Jesse's elk.

I, at first, wasn't sure of what to think about all of this dead animal hangin' in a cooler with no skin or heads or anything. It just smelled so awful and it simply wasn't anything I was use to or comfortable with. Clearly I became comfortable with it - seeing that I'm holding a huge chunk of meat that I had just cut off the side of an elk!

There is no way, in a thousand years, that I would have ever thought that I be butchering an animal and actually like it, but I did and I do. Simply amazing!

So thankful for the simple life!

So Much To Be Thankful For

Well, folks, my 30-day, letter-writing challenge is done! And honestly, I don't think I'm done yet. There are so many people that I'd like to write to let the know that I appreciate them. November has been a great month. Because of this challenge, I am now more aware of the things and people that I am thankful for and why.

I am super thankful for my dear family - both my "blood" family and those who aren't blood, but should be. I can't wait to see my blood family at Christmas and yet sad not to be with my Canyon family.

I have seriously loved this challenge and would recommend sitting down and writing a letter a day for a month to anyone who is lacking joy - or really to anyone really. This challenge seriously has increased my joy. To sit down and write to those who I am thankful for has been simply amazing. I have more joy in my life than I ever have.

So thanks to all of you in my life - y'all are great.

WHOOOOAH WE'RE HALF WAY THERE

WHOOOOOOOAH! WE'RE HALF WAY THERE! WHOO-OOAH! LIVIN' ON A PRAYER! TAKE MY HAND AND WE'LL MAKE IT, I SWEAR! WHOA, LIVIN' ON A PRAYER!

Okay, I promise this post won't contain any more awesome Bon Jovi lyrics. Well, I can't promise that, but I can promise that Bon Jovi and Livin' On A Prayer aren't the reason for this post - I just really like Bon Jovi and Livin' On A Prayer.

I am, however, halfway done with my letter writing challenge. I am kind of surprised at the eclectic group of people that I am thankful for - the ones that I have written. I have family members, co-workers, childhood friends, friends from my SharpTop days in which I have all written letters. These people are some of my dearest and most cherished people in my life. There have been times that I have had a hard time finding strong enough words to share just how thankful I really feel.

A few days ago, I was talking with some dear friends of mine and one of them asked me how to find joy again. Nothing terribly bad was happening in this friend's life, just lacking joy and complaining often. So we spent some time talking about joy and what that looks like and where we often look for joy. Then this question was raised: Are we seeking the Lord for true joy? Which made all of us pause and think for a moment. This friend asked me when I think of joy, what do I think about, do I think I have it, and how do I suggest obtaining pure joy.

I encouraged said friend to start writing letters everyday. I said, which is totally true, the one of the biggest blessings about writing these letters of thanksgiving to dear friends around the country, well world, and I realize how thankful I am for them, my joy has increased.

After I came home that night and got in bed, I thought that writing letters simply wasn't enough. So the next day, I opened my Bible to see what it said about joy and found tons of verses and passages. I sat down with a pen and paper and wrote down the verses and passages and my thoughts on each. Then emailed my friends. As I was finishing my email to them, I came to realize that I was looking to encourage them, but I also found said task a blessing - learning a ton about what the Lord has in store and the blessings He has for us.

I find it cool how the Lord chooses to teach and bless us. Here's to another 15 days of letter writing - which by the way, my friend started writing letters too! It's kinda fun!