Moving forward

I am intentional about creating two different posts back to back today. One was somewhat of reflecting and this one is more of looking forward.

Don't get me wrong, I loved the Canyon. Still do. Always will. This last month or so has been very hard emotionally. My birthday, moving, and Christmas has come and gone in a flash yet it has dragged on forever. I'm learning to really appreciate the things around me and especially the people. Most importantly, the Lord. This month has been huge in my life and I will probably be processing it for a long time.

But I'm ready. I'm ready to move forward and move on. I can't wait to take down the Christmas decorations and get on with life. I'm ready live life again versus live in a fog.

So here we go 2012. I'm looking forward to being good friends and growing more. Get ready.

The Last of the Canyon. Sad.

It's no secret that I grew to love the Canyon more than I thought. It's also no secret that it was harder leaving the Canyon than I thought. I learned a ton about the Lord and a ton more about myself while I lived in the Canyon which I am still trying to process, but the Lord is good.

I think, well I know, it's the people that I miss the most. It's the people that I've learned the most from. I love the Canyon for it's community. The family.

I had some pictures on my computer that I wanted to upload because I think that pictures help tell the story. It adds life and detail.

It's no secret that I love my brother Kory's ginormous, brown, awesome Yellowstone Coffee mug. You know the opening scene in So I Married An Axe Murder where Mike Myers character is sitting in a coffee shop and the waitress brings him a drink in that HUGE mug and he says "I believe I ordered the large cappuccino! Hello?!" Well, it's like that. It's huge and it's awesome. I kept threatening that I was going to steal it and I finally did. Sara had the great idea that there should be pictures involved. So for the next 24 hours or so, I took the mug around camp taking pictures of the mug anywhere and everywhere. It was so much fun....maybe a little too fun. I don't know.

Here are just two of the pictures that I took with the amazing mug:

This is in the Canyon Dinning Hall, the Iron Kettle. This is one of my favorite shots.

Kory use to drive this truck, The Hulk, for work. So of course I had to re-unite the mug and The Hulk. They obviously miss each other a whole heck of a lot.

So fun! You know I am still amazed at how well Kory and Sara love and serve others. The day Kory was released from the hospital, we had plans for a joint birthday party for me and their daughter, Bailey. I kept asking Sara if she wanted to cancel or postpone the party and she kept saying no. She still wanted to have it. And it was great. Felt so loved. One of the best parts was having Kory there. I'm not kidding. If I had gotten nothing else that would have been fine, I was just so excited to have my brother home from the hospital. Here are some pictures from that night.

Me and Bailes, the birthday girls!

Loved having my busted brother there. Such a gift and a blessing.

Sweet Kathi. Love her.

It was a great evening. At my goodbye party a few days before that, I was sent off in prayer. Dear neighbors and friends, Tim and Leah were there. Tim has a Rockbridge mug that I love. I had a Rockbridge mug as well that somehow got lost while I lived in the Canyon. I LOVE that mug. Tim had one almost identical to the one I had except mine was pink and his was yellow. Well, as a parting gift, Tim gave me his mug! Love it! Such a great gift. I am so thankful and blessed. Such a simple act means so much. And here's the mug.

This last picture is from my final drive into camp before the move. Sad moment. Hard moment. I sometimes have a hard time with change and while driving into camp that Sunday afternoon, I knew things were about to change and I was leaving some of the best friends and things I've ever had in my life, knowing that it was a good thing. It was hard to think that I would have to wait months before I could hug these sweet friends and family again.

The Canyon has been an amazing. The Canyon - it has a way of changing you. And for me, it was good.

Leaving the Canyon

My heart is heavy right now. Life in the Canyon has been hard these last couple of weeks. Much life has been lived and processed since the beginning of December.

Leaving the Canyon is harder than I imagined it would be. I'm not sure if it has to do with all of the hard events recently - particularly Doug and Kory or just life stuff. Today is my 27th birthday and it doesn't feel all that special birthday-like that it normally does. Not that people haven't been loving on me - they totally have been and I feel SO loved by my dear Canyon Family. I think I'm just sad that recent events have happened. I'm sad that Dana lost her husband. I'm sad that Dain, Peter, Caleb, and Jack lost their dad. I'm sad that Kory's in pain.

Everything in me wants to restart this month with different outcomes. If I could be in control, Doug would still be here and Kory wouldn't have fallen.

But I guess that's why the Lord is in control. I was talking with my dear friend Lindsay the other night and she said something that was a great reminder to me. She said that we may not see it now, but hindsight is 20 20. We may not understand what the Lord is trying to teach us in this moment, but we will. We have to trust this because the Lord always delivers. He is always faithful.

I love the Canyon and it's family more than I thought possible. I have two days left here and I want to soak it up as much as possible. My heart is still heavy, but I am thankful.

Moving!

Well, my friends, it's official. I'm moving back east! Monday evening at about 9 pm, I'll be on a plane back to Virginia Beach!

I have such mixed emotions about leaving the Canyon. I am super super excited to be back in Virginia and closer to the family, but super sad to be leaving my sweet, sweet Canyon Family.

So far, December has been a hard month for our Canyon Family. W e lost a dear husband, dad, brother, and friend just over a week and half ago with the passing of Doug Kuhn. Doug was so instrumental in the building of both Canyon and Creekside as well as playing a huge role in helping build community amongst the Property Staff of WFR. Our Canyon Family would not be the same without Doug and for him, I am incredibly grateful. So glad I could still be physically on the Ranch for this time and be with the rest of the Property Staff to celebrate Doug. This is one HUGE reason why I love the Canyon - the people!

So here I am in the midst of final week here and the "this is the last time I'll be doing...this" mode all while trying to pack up and soak up life here. Yet looking forward to life back east. Such a mix of emotions. I love so much about this place and these people and I'll be sad to say goodbye starting tonight at my goodbye party. I can't wait to see my nephews. Sigh.

Chukar/Elk Bucket List?

Tonight (well really last night since it's after midnight) I, again, attempted to soak up as much of the rural life of Antelope as I could. The night held two more firsts for me - things that I can now cross off my Bucket List, which I didn't even know were on my Bucket List until I was in the middle of it.

The first one, which in my opinion is not as cool, is I cooked and ate Chukar for the first time! For those of you who don't know what Chukar is (I didn't until I moved out here), it's a type of bird - it's in the partridge family (it's okay to laugh at that!) My dear friend and brother, Kory, killed a Chukar, cleaned it all up and gave me some for my roommate and me to eat. So today, I made some chili with the Chukar and LOVED it. Thanks again, K!

The second thing, which I find WAY cooler (partially because I still haven't fully warmed up yet) is I helped butcher an elk! I was totally grossed out at first, but ended up LOVING it! Thankful for the guys allowing me to be there and to hang out and especially thankful that Jesse Washkau let me take a knife to his elk and the rest of the dudes for showing me how.

Below are some pictures. I tried to pick some that were the least gross, but there's only so much you can do.

Kory and Jesse working on Jesse's elk - look at that intensity!

Kory startin' to dance - let the good times roll!

The dudes - Kory, Jimmy, Jeff, and Jesse - takin' a look at Jesse's elk

I, of course, had to get my hands in there. I had just cut off a huge chunk of Jesse's elk.

I, at first, wasn't sure of what to think about all of this dead animal hangin' in a cooler with no skin or heads or anything. It just smelled so awful and it simply wasn't anything I was use to or comfortable with. Clearly I became comfortable with it - seeing that I'm holding a huge chunk of meat that I had just cut off the side of an elk!

There is no way, in a thousand years, that I would have ever thought that I be butchering an animal and actually like it, but I did and I do. Simply amazing!

So thankful for the simple life!

So Much To Be Thankful For

Well, folks, my 30-day, letter-writing challenge is done! And honestly, I don't think I'm done yet. There are so many people that I'd like to write to let the know that I appreciate them. November has been a great month. Because of this challenge, I am now more aware of the things and people that I am thankful for and why.

I am super thankful for my dear family - both my "blood" family and those who aren't blood, but should be. I can't wait to see my blood family at Christmas and yet sad not to be with my Canyon family.

I have seriously loved this challenge and would recommend sitting down and writing a letter a day for a month to anyone who is lacking joy - or really to anyone really. This challenge seriously has increased my joy. To sit down and write to those who I am thankful for has been simply amazing. I have more joy in my life than I ever have.

So thanks to all of you in my life - y'all are great.

WHOOOOAH WE'RE HALF WAY THERE

WHOOOOOOOAH! WE'RE HALF WAY THERE! WHOO-OOAH! LIVIN' ON A PRAYER! TAKE MY HAND AND WE'LL MAKE IT, I SWEAR! WHOA, LIVIN' ON A PRAYER!

Okay, I promise this post won't contain any more awesome Bon Jovi lyrics. Well, I can't promise that, but I can promise that Bon Jovi and Livin' On A Prayer aren't the reason for this post - I just really like Bon Jovi and Livin' On A Prayer.

I am, however, halfway done with my letter writing challenge. I am kind of surprised at the eclectic group of people that I am thankful for - the ones that I have written. I have family members, co-workers, childhood friends, friends from my SharpTop days in which I have all written letters. These people are some of my dearest and most cherished people in my life. There have been times that I have had a hard time finding strong enough words to share just how thankful I really feel.

A few days ago, I was talking with some dear friends of mine and one of them asked me how to find joy again. Nothing terribly bad was happening in this friend's life, just lacking joy and complaining often. So we spent some time talking about joy and what that looks like and where we often look for joy. Then this question was raised: Are we seeking the Lord for true joy? Which made all of us pause and think for a moment. This friend asked me when I think of joy, what do I think about, do I think I have it, and how do I suggest obtaining pure joy.

I encouraged said friend to start writing letters everyday. I said, which is totally true, the one of the biggest blessings about writing these letters of thanksgiving to dear friends around the country, well world, and I realize how thankful I am for them, my joy has increased.

After I came home that night and got in bed, I thought that writing letters simply wasn't enough. So the next day, I opened my Bible to see what it said about joy and found tons of verses and passages. I sat down with a pen and paper and wrote down the verses and passages and my thoughts on each. Then emailed my friends. As I was finishing my email to them, I came to realize that I was looking to encourage them, but I also found said task a blessing - learning a ton about what the Lord has in store and the blessings He has for us.

I find it cool how the Lord chooses to teach and bless us. Here's to another 15 days of letter writing - which by the way, my friend started writing letters too! It's kinda fun!

The Being Thankful Challenge

Well I'm officially a 1/3 of the way through my 30-day being thankful, hand-writing-letter, challenge. And I'm loving the challenge! It is a challenge. The simple act of sitting down and writing a letter everyday is hard - it's a new discipline that I'm creating.

In some ways it has been easier and more fun that I thought it would be. I have yet to have no one to write a letter to. I have so many people that I love a lot who I am so thankful for. The hard part is choosing who to write to each day - the list is long. Some days I wish I could write a letter to somebody I've already written a letter to - I'm just that thankful for them.

I'm having fun writing to the people I love and so thankful for and telling them how much I love them and how thankful I am for their friendship in my lives. I'm realizing more and more how blessed I am by the people in my life. The Lord has definitely blessed me by these dear friends.

I totally recommend doing this challenge to anyone who is thinking about it - or even if you're not thinking about it, you should do it. I think it's been more of a blessing to me to write these letters than to those who receive them - I'm learning how much I am loved.

Crazy Week

So this week has been anything but average. The longer I live out here, the more I become adjusted to rural life. Being a city girl, I have had to learn what it's like to drive long distances for things that, I would consider, to be things of convenience - such as grocery stores and movie theaters. Getting use to the simple life. Getting use to nature vs. buildings - such as tumble weed blowing in the wind past my window and seeing cow, deer, antelope, and other such animals on my property or drive to town (yes, that does include elk and yes, I was blind that morning).

I have really attempted to soak up all that is peculiar to me - all that wasn't in my everyday life before I moved here. One such thing is shooting guns. I had never shot a gun in my life until Monday morning. My dear friend, Kory - his wife, Sara, was in my blog two posts ago, took me and his two younger children to the shooting range that morning where I shot a gun for the very first time - and LOVED it! Here are some pictures:

First time with a gun in my hands - a little weird at first.

I got pretty good, atleast for a first timer.

Please take a look at little Brody in the background - isn't he the cutest?

Kory teaching his daughter, Bailey, a thing or two.

Love this picture.

Love the Brodes. The flaps are still covering the binoculars so he can't see a thing

It was Brody's first time too. His arm was fully extended and he couldn't reach the trigger. Seriously though, so stinkin' cute!

Well my adventurous Monday didn't end with a trip to the shooting range. I somehow managed to get my hand slammed into a sliding van door. Yeah that was fun. Kory is also an emt so I took myself and my busted pinky finger up to the Brown's house to be looked at. All is well except for the swelling and discoloration. And the pain, of course. I'm thankful that my friend and neighbor is an emt and was willing and able to help me. Kory wrapped up my hand with an ice pack in it so I could attempt to still work. Here's the evidence:

Four days later, my hand is still a bother, but it is much better than it was - thanks to ice and ibuprofen and tylenol. You never really know how much you use your pinky until it's busted. Thankfully it's healing well.

So here's to trying new things and hopefully not hurting myself in the future.

Being Thankful

I'm a complainer. Like a big one. I complain a lot and most of the time I don't even know it. I even found myself complaining tonight as I was playing the card game Hand and Foot with my friends Jimmy and Karen (yes my finger really does hurt, but still, I don't have to complain. More on that subject later.)

Which reminded me of my dear friend Amanda Shaffer. The other day she blogged about her 30-day challenge for the month of November. Every day for 30 days she is going to sit down and write a hand written note to somebody that she is thankful for. Because isn't that what Thanksgiving is all about (even though we all think about the food and stuff). So I have totally stolen Amanda's idea. Here are the rules Amanda set up for herself - which I totally just copied and pasted straight from her blog (sorry for being so unoriginal Amanda)

#1 - Every day sit down to write a note to someone I am thankful for. (It must be HANDWRITTEN -- an email is great. A Facebook post in nice. But a handwritten note? It shows them that I thought about them for longer than the three minutes it would take to type something meaningul because I can type like a madwoman.)

#2 - It must be sent within 3 days (through the mail or hand-delivered.)

#3 - The note must be plain and simple - no frills or fancy cards or anything like that --- I want the message to be 'I appreciate you' not 'oooo.... look at the adorably good taste I have in cards! (even though I do find the cutest cards) It's just a little note to say why I am thankful...

#4 - It can be to anyone that I am thankful for -- a family member, a friend, a neighbor, the nice lady that sent my fax through, my realtor, the mailman, my doctor, the library ladies... it may be a good idea to carry blank note cards with me in case I get inspired to write something... point is - if someone has done something that I am truly thankful for, they get a thank you.

#5 - This is NOT about being a butt-kisser or a toot-my-own-horn-er.... it's about taking time to remember those who have been in my life and who are in my life.

So so-far I have kept up with it. Yesterday I wrote a letter to my dear, sweet Oregon family, Kory and Sara, and hand-delivered it. And today I almost didn't do it. I was going to write a letter after we played some games, but Jimmy and Karen didn't leave until 12:45 am (I still count this as November 2nd since I haven't gone to bed yet) and all I wanted to do was go to bed, BUT I saw the stationary and pen sitting on the table so I sat down and wrote my friend Lindsay a letter. I will deliver it tomorrow when I head into camp.

Feel free to ask me how I'm doing with this later as the month goes on. I want to start strong and end strong. Thanks Amanda for the encouragement.

I Might Be Breaking a Record!

Well folks, I have officially lived in Oregon for over a year now. September 29th marked the day that I loaded a plane with all my junk for the West Coat. And what a year it has been. It has been a year of great struggle with many of set backs and successes, tears and laughter, milestones and memories.

I am still not sure what the Lord has in store for me when my contract is up at the end of December, if I stay in Oregon or if I head somewhere else. With that being said, regardless of what happens next, this may be the first job that I've had in five years that I haven't transferred or left at the end of a year. Staying put after a year - that's a plus!

I will say one thing about living in Oregon that's for sure: I have a pretty awesome family here who have adopted me in as one of their own. And I am forever blessed by this sweet family. Kory and Sara and their three stellar kids have been an absolute joy. They have opened their door, their house, their fridge, their couch, their lives, and their hearts to me as I brought tears and sadness in those early days. They sat, listened, encouraged, and prayed for me when I was struggling. They have laughed with me when I was in a good place. They have served a protective role to me, the one with all the allergies and accident-proneness. They have always brought love and for that I am very grateful. I have no clue where I would be if it weren't for Kory and Sara.

Great friends they are. Well, great family.

This just happens to be one of the very few normal, good, shots of Sara and I tonight at the Canyon Ladies Dinner.

I don't have ANY pictures of the rest of my Oregon family, but I'll be working on it. In the meantime, I'm sure there will be more tears, laughter, and jelly belly's shared!

The Landscape Never Gets Old

Here are some of the reasons how I see the Lord here in Central Oregon:

John Day River

Clinging to the Lord's promises....

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes

I've been thinking a lot in the last few days about my future and what it would look like to not live on the Ranch. I've had several people in the last week or so ask me what I'm going to do when my time with Mark 2 is "up" in a few months; will I stay on or will I head Back East?

Honestly, I don't know at the moment. For a long while, it was a definite, I'll head back East and then there was a time that I thought maybe I could be out here for longer than expected. Sometimes I feel like I'm looking at the situation with blinders on - not knowing if there is a clear path to take.

As I sit on my front porch at twilight (more to come on that subject soon, I promise) I listen to Mumford & Sons, freezing because it is not quite spring here yet and contemplate what's next in life. I have grown to love this place more than I thought. I mean, how could you not when this is what you see at sunrise?

And at the same time, how can you compare it to home?

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes.

and another thing...friends

I've heard my dad say several times in my life the term "and another thing...friends". This meaning that you have those friends that you may not be in your everyday life, but when you talk, it's like nothing has changed nor has it felt like any time has passed. It's like conversation is more like "oh hey, and another thing is..." No matter what happens or where y'all are at, you pick up your life/conversation like nothing has changed...like conversation and your friendship just keeps going. It picks up where you left off, like no time has passed.

Meet Sam Winks. Sam is one of those "and another thing" friends. This picture was taken in August of '07 at our friends, the Signorinis' house. Sam and I have been friends for...well I can't remember exactly how long, but it's got to be somewhere in the 7 - 10 year range. I believe we met and became friends at Rockbridge at some point, but honestly I can't remember. When I moved to Jasper, Georgia to Young Life's SharpTop Cove almost 5 years ago (August '06), Sam was going to SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design). At this point we had been friends for years, but never lived in the same city (Sam's from Richmond). Sam often came to STC on the weekends to help Wrangle. I remember the very first weekend that Sam came to STC when I was there. It was like a piece of Virginia while living in Georgia. I was so excited to see him and to hang out with him whenever I could.

Well our friendship went from a friend you enjoyed hanging out with whenever you happened to see each other to having a friend you enjoyed living life together that following summer - summer '07 when Sam was the summer bike intern at STC. That summer, especially the end of the summer, was filled with great memories of adventures to find tshirts, sitting on the roof of The Mill, or just simply hanging out.

Sam and I have seen each other maybe two or three times since that summer - once when I lived in DC and an other time being this past July when I was in Richmond. The thing with Sam is that we may not hang out a ton or even talk but every couple months, but when we get on the phone with each other, our conversations are never less than an hour. And no matter where I'm at in life or how confused I am on a certain situation or life in general, Sam is often quick to listen, slow to speak, and great at giving advice.

I talked to Sam on Wednesday night for about an hour and it felt like we were on the phone for about 3 minutes. It's really a neat blessing to see where the Lord has brought Sam on this journey called life. It's an even bigger blessing to have a friend who knows you well and can be a person of encouragement in life - to be a person to call and say "and another thing is..."

I think we all need those friends.....friends like Sam.

Internet from the Plane?

So here's something new to me: internet connection from an airplane. Relatively speaking, computers and especially laptops aren't that old in the grand scheme of things. Neither is flying for that matter. So it somewhat baffles me that I can update my blog from the plane...while listening to Mumford & Sons. I love Mumford.

Anyways, I'm on my way back to Antelope after a week of vacation "Back East". My dear brother-in-law, Josh Goodman, got married this past weekend to Lindsay Cummings. It was a great wedding and great reception. I was able to see some of my favorite people that day. It was so great. I'm just so excited for Josh and Lindsay. I can't wait to see what the Lord does in and through them in their marriage and ministry in Roanoke.

Unfortunately, I took all of like 3 pictures this past week (which I have yet to upload) and only one at the wedding and it wasn't even of the bride or groom. What a bummer! (I still love you Fetzers!)

So back to Oregon I go. Getting ready to gear up for summer in the Canyon. We have just over 2 months until about 1,000 high school and middle school kids come to occupy our two camps, Canyon and Creekside! So many of these teens will be hearing about Christ for the very first time in their lives! How great is this!

Life in Central Oregon

For those of you who don't know, I've been living in Central Oregon for almost five and a half months and I'm loving it. I live and work at Young Life's Washington Family Ranch with Mark 2 Ministries in a small town known as Antelope. It's been a challenging five and a half months in the sense that I live in the middle of absolute nowhere without a car and no cell phone service what-so-ever. The closest grocery store is an hour away. The closet Target is two hours away. But one of the coolest things about living here is that this is literally my backyard:

This picture was taken about 12 hours after first stepping into the Canyon at the end of September from my back porch.

I love the physical beauty and vastness of this place, although, at times the 64,000 acres of land that I live on can be intimidating. The same God who created this whole universe in six days, still cares for the matters of my heart; is sometimes unfathomable while looking at such landscape.

Besides the natural beauty of this place, there are other things that I have grown to love. Here's one:

This is Autumn Webster. She was my roommate, best friend, and fellow VB native for the first four months I lived here. Autumn started her journey back East about a month ago and I miss her dearly. She's like a soul sister. She has two awesome cats, Artie and Bubba, who we affectionately call hot air balloons. Autumn, "Awa", has a huge heart for serving others, singing happy birthday as many times as humanly possible on one's birthday, she's a great listener, and an even better encourager. She would also love to be in Israel longterm at some point in her life. She's pretty cool. We call ourselves the A-Team.

From Left to Right we got: Mandy Lofdahl, Lauren Crapser, myself, Amanda Shaffer, Natalee Giddings, and Autumn Webster.

And no, we did not plan to color coordinate on this day. I work with all of these fine folks (Bri and Billy are the only staff who are MIA). Amanda was here when I first got out here to help in a transitional time for Mark 2. She and her husband, Matt, are getting ready to have their first child and I can't wait to meet him! Shaffer is one of the craziest, most fun people I know. She lived with Autumn and myself when she was out here and she was apart of the A-Team.

Here we got Autumn, Bri, and Natalee. I have now had the privilege of living with all three of these ladies and they are all absolutely wonderful! Bri is from South Dakota - the land of the snow and Natalee is from the great state of Georgia. Bri and I love watching the Biggest Loser and the Bachelor. Natalee and I love talking about all things Southern including, but not limited to, Paula Deen, The Flying Biscuit, and SEC Football.

My most favorite day of the last five and a half months came just over a month ago. And it is captured in the photo below:

From Left to Right: Autumn, Lauren, myself, and Billy

It was the day before Autumn and Lauren were moving back to Virginia. The day started a little too early for my liking where Autumn, Lauren, Billy, and myself went down to the river for the sunrise. It was FREEZING out, but it was the best morning I've had since I've been here, no contest. We spent an hour and a half together in Autumn's car watching the sunrise over the river. The time was filled with some great conversations, pictures, and memories.

The day didn't end there. That night after work, the four of us along with Bri and Natalee, went back down to the river for a bonfire. The night was filled with even better conversations and memories. I loved that day I love these friends.

One final picture:

This is a picture from the WFR driveway. I love this part of the driveway. It has brought many of pictures of my time here thus far. It reminds me of the Lord's beauty and handy work. If you ever need an excuse to come out and visit me, just look at this picture and you'll be on the next plane out here.

This is all for now. I will update y'all later on in my journey.